I will keep the sob story to a minimum, my father passed away in 2004, and he was undoubtedly one, if not the most significant, influence in my love for photography. I can easily recall and associate the scent of the developing lab with him and some film stocks. Long, long afternoons were spent on the beach in mid-December to get those dreamy long exposure shots, while I just stood around in awe. To sum up, he made me fall in love with the medium and the art form.
Unfortunately, due to a heart attack, he passed away in 04. And since then, I avoided the places where we lived like the plague. It hurt too much.
Obviously, throughout my life, I would stumble here and there, places important to us. But the last set we lived somehow managed to avoid for 18 years. Finally, this year on his birthday, I said fuck it and went.
The train was still halfway along the journey, and I started sobbing like no tomorrow, which is something quite rare with me; as many of my friends will attest, I don't cry easy. Even after getting there, I cried my eyes out, and it wasn't until I picked up the camera that the crying stopped. I'm not a spiritual person, but I believe it was him helping me out.
I can confidently say it was a cathartic day; I walked my feet off and went to many significant places. From a cafe where we took our breakfast (maybe in 94/95 ish while my parents were still together) to one of his favourite restaurants, pretty much I ended up reliving what could have been his birthday day if he was still around
Everything seemed to have stayed the same while being radically different, but It had been a lifetime ago when I last visited the place, so it kind of makes sense.
And throughout the day I used most of a roll of Kentmere 400. Wich from an aesthetic point of view turned out to be a fantastic idea; paired with the vintage look of the Nikon F2 50mm Lens, it gave the pictures an air of intemperateness, that apart from a few details, they can look like they were shot either in the '80s 90's '00s 10's, or even when they were actually shot 2020's
Eventually, I headed off to the beach and shot an entire roll of CineStill 50 on the beach. Unfortunately, I messed up, and the lab couldn't develop it.
It was a surreal day, and although I got mad at myself for being able to invalidate that Cinestill, I'm over the moon with the monochromatic film I got back. Perhaps from an artistic point of view, it ain't the best I've shot but without a doubt one of my favourites of all time.
And I believe that sooner rather than later ill return to that beach and get revenge on the film that got away.
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